Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Fighting a Female Battle.

This is it!

If you can't fight them, study them! I needed to know why this little creatures fly pass the big juicy body of my husband lying right next to me, naked and not even covered with the sheet,  and then circling me covered here and there,  to find any open spot of flesh,  and then piercing me to suck my  blood.  Just like an irritating fly, no wonder the Spanish and the Portuguese call them "little fly".  I imported some Peaceful Sleep from South Africa (the little bugger's paradise),  and put packets Aromat back onto the shelve to make space, (pity)  but still no peace in my sleep,  while the nagging buzz of a female mosquito ready to produce eggs swept over me. Can she not sense the horrible timing of two females producing eggs, connecting tonight? Not even Tabard, or the expensive fancy stuff my visiting sister in law, Elize left on our boat are smelly enough to keep her away from my soft flesh. It only keeps my dear husband away, and I don't want to do all the time, you know...
Last night was "my" last straw or blood...  I woke up in the dark by that sound!  It was somewhere in the area of my head, and I got so upset that I smashed my poor eardrum.  Now not only the damn mosquito was singing, and I struggled to get to the LED light switch.  I didn't even think about the battery bank, only concentrating and trying to fix my gaze on this tiny black blood sucking insect. Johan lazily woke up after my first clap into the vast air,  and the girly mozzie flying away. Now it is war!!  "Where is my glasses?"  Johan shouted  in a toned down voice not to wake the boys,  flying his hands in the air. He swaps!  Too close!  He swaps again!  Too far!  "Wrong glasses!"  Forget about the mozzie,  we have to find the right glasses first,  while this girly mozzie is still laughing at us in a buzz, with her eggs waiting.  Why can't she just be the sweet tooth like her male and mine only sucking on the beautiful sweet nectar of flowers and chocolates?
I read:  She loves clean people! I didn't shower tonight,  just did the wishy-washy number, but to no avail.  "Dirty Harry" next to me was still  sound asleep, and only after the buzzing and me scrambling,  he woke up to be my Knight in no armour, to start searching for our (k)night eyes...
I read:  She likes thin skin!  This is going to take some time,  and it made me wonder...  is that why I don't have any bites on my Red Wine belly softness?
I read:  She doesn't like yeast!  Ah,  that is why she hates Johan's  South-African Beer Belly!  It makes me wonder whether she sucks the Portuguese women in Brazil,  because they also love their Beer, Scol.  Would she mind a touch of Lemonade to that yucky bitter taste?
Making our bed this morning I enjoyed taking pleasure in leaving her skeleton on my wall, but I must admit that I understood and empathise to that dedication of a mother to look after her children,  so when her splash on the wall is all bloody and red, (my blood) I knew that you were very close to being a good mother!

Ps.  Maybe I am just not hot enough...so Tobasco will have to do...

video


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